Gray Jedi

My fiance has recently come out as agnostic--or as he likes to describe it, a "Gray Jedi."

I guess that would make me a Sith. I'm okay with this. 

You might expect for me to be overjoyed--but I'm not. I mean, it's nice for me to not only have a wonderful man, but to know that this wonderful man truly understands the way I think. At the same time, I know that this is probably causing him a great deal of stress. He's shed an old way of thinking, something that I know from personal experience is not an easy task. It's extremely uncomfortable.

The news saddened my mother as well. I know that she believes that my fiance and I will be going to a place of eternal torture if we don't change our ways of thinking. She said to me after I told her: "Oh....and I have been praying for him too!" She then paused and a look of determination came over her: "I just need to pray harder!" Not only do I feel bad for her sadness, but I feel bad that she has taken this personal task based on (in my view) mythology as her own personal mission, something weighing on her. I mean, can you imagine? Feeling partially responsible for the eternal damnation of another?

Buzz buzz

Taking a bit of a break from the blog tonight to spend some much-needed relaxation time with the fiancé. Here is a photo I came across on Facebook--what are your thoughts about it?

Two By Two Equals Fish?

Today, a friend sent me an article about plans for a billboard. Not just any billboard, though.




A group which calls themselves "The Tri-State Freethinkers" set up a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for a billboard advertising Ken Ham's "Ark Encounter."

This advertisement has a bit of a creative twist, however.

I am on the fence about this. On one hand, it's honest. Yes, we believe that the story of Noah's Ark is a myth. How could he fit two of every animal on the ark? Why did God have to flood the earth to rid it of all the immoral people (which, however way you want to dress it, is still mass murder). The questions are virtually endless. 

But Ken Ham (and those who support him) will probably just see this as us atheists trying to infringe upon their good work and "bash" Christians. Will it cause some to question? Probably a few. But what will they do after this questioning? It will likely create uncomfortable cognitive dissonance, and then those who support the creation story will "jump back" to their original belief and distance themselves further mentally--and possibly lash out at--us atheists/humanists. Then again, perhaps it will take messages like this to show people of faith how we view stories of the Bible. 

St. Patty

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Check out this video on the history of St. Patrick--not exactly a great story for non-Christians.

Standard Deviant

Tonight, a family member messaged me with a concern. I'm glad she did.

A friend of mine had posted an article to my timeline, the topic of which we had been discussing at an earlier time. The article is entitled:

"Religious children are meaner than their secular counterparts, study finds." 

My family member, being a person of faith, was a bit hurt by the title. She brought up a very good point in that the title makes a sweeping generalization that, while possibly accurate, does not describe each and every person of faith. When research is distilled into articles for the general public, it is not usually mentioned that the research in no way describes people at the individual level.

Additionally, the word "meaner" isn't entirely accurate here. The study itself focused on empathy (or lack thereof) and judgement of others--which may not exactly be best described by the term "meanness."

I think it is important for us all to remember that even though it seems like groups as a whole tend to be portrayed or behave in a certain way, that does not mean that every person within that group does. 

We Just Want to Help...Make You More Like Us

Today, I read an article in the New York Times about treatment facilities for eating disorders.

According to the Times, many newer treatment facilities rely on a "spa-like" atmosphere and charge tens of thousands of dollars per month for treatments which are not exactly based on the latest psychological/neuro-scientific research: one such treatment being a faith-based treatment.

A visit I paid to the website of one of these "faith-based facilities" proved to be very unsettling.

The site lists the facets of life damaged by an eating disorder: the body, (true) the mind, (yes) emotions, (yes) relationships, (yes) and especially--especially the Spirit (by this I assume they are referring to the Holy Spirit. Which raises the question, if this Spirit is residing in the individual, how were they attacked by this disorder?

Ah, I forgot--Satan. 

The remaining portion of the website is even more eerie:

"Residential treatment at Timberline Knolls provides spiritual nurturing to women of all beliefs and faith traditions – including those with none at all.

Spirituality is not an add-on or an optional part of treatment at Timberline Knolls.

Each Timberline Knolls therapist and staff member understands they work with residents of all religious beliefs. Spiritual healing and empowerment are core parts of treatment for every resident, regardless of her faith and religious beliefs.

From the day she arrives, each Christian resident will feel our passion for spiritual rejuvenation in the way we describe treatment and recovery. Our treatment philosophy reflects the New Testament philosophy that Christians don’t get well by themselves, but through connection with others.

All Timberline Knolls residents attend special weekly group sessions with our Spirituality Coordinator, Todd Warren. Todd is a nationally-known songwriter, Christian recording artist and an ordained minister.

Todd’s thought provoking discussions are enhanced by performing music live for residents. Todd brings a pastor’s voice that reinforces the presence of the spirit inside each of us, and the importance of one’s connection to a power greater than ourselves."

Scenario time: let's say a young person suffering from comorbid depression and anorexia (who happens to be gay/atheist/anything "non-Christian" and suffers from these disorders in part because of lack of social support/feelings of worthlessness because of rejection by family and/or peers) arrives at this facility per parental request. Now that person will be forced to conform to an identity which is not their own in addition to these problems. 

Well, s***.

Tonight at work, I stood up for myself.

A supervisor of mine had 1. Neglected to schedule enough people on one of our busiest nights, so we were horribly understaffed 2. Yelled at a coworker who was just trying to give her information and 3. Been on everyone about minuscule, unimportant things while not giving us any help (even though we were understaffed).

They were in the dining room, complaining about "crumbs" (tiny little white fluffs) that I had left. Since it had been my job to vacuum, they told me to pick them up. I had it. I told them that if they really wanted them picked up so badly, they could do it themselves. I heard an "excuse me?" from them and I stormed off in a huff to go fold more napkins.

Then they came to me and started crying, saying that they had to go to the other end of the building and asking if I had decided "not to do my job." I felt bad. Not for getting my thoughts out, but for causing them to cry. I could have handled the situation better.

I apologized to them later and they started crying again. They told me that they accepted my apology and that their supervisors had been on them about a number of things (though they had missed big things, namely items on the schedule). I tried to tell them, much more calmly, that we could have used more help from them as far as cleaning duties were concerned, especially since we were understaffed. They told me that helping too much could get them in trouble (I don't really buy that. Their supervisors go home before we start cleaning). I asked her how they would know, and they replied with, "don't ask me how they know! They just do!" I feel that either a. they are making things up because they do not want to help or b. they may be suffering from paranoia.

I think they definitely exhibit some symptoms of paranoid personality disorder, but I have not spoken to them enough times to make that assertion (plus I am not a psychologist, at least not in the sense of having a degree). They do contradict themselves quite a bit, but I do not think they purposefully lie. I think they simply become confused sometimes, either because their anxiety levels are so high that they forget (activation of the HPA axis during a stress response can damage memory over time) or because they have some level of delusion. Perhaps I should teach them some calming techniques and see if their behavior improves.