I Just Can't

I helped a resident get to an activity today. It was called "Knowledge Bowl." She was really excited to go, but she couldn't remember where it was supposed to be or what time it was supposed to start. She was so worried about being late.

As we walked onto the elevator that would take us to third floor, she asked me about a lady that was walking by. "What is her job here?" I told her that the lady in question was the director of housekeeping. "Oh, that's right! I knew that!" She turned to me and said forlornly, "Sorry. I forget things sometimes."

"It's okay! I forget things sometimes too." I said, trying to help her feel better. What she said next sent a pang of grief through my chest. "No it's not. No you don't. It's annoying. But thank you for helping me find the media room."

Now I know that oftentimes people with dementia don't need to be reassured that it's okay. It's not okay for them, and they know it. Maybe what they need most is to be told the truth, that we can remember things well. Maybe they need to know that we will help their memory as much as we possibly can, even when they are no longer with us.