Dissonance

I awakened one day to find most others asleep

Memories of the past I did not keep

What is this place? What brought me here?

The connection between the aphotic and fear.



I existed in this place of variable awareness

At times control, others none

Where does the difference lie, I wonder

When did this knowledge begin (begun?)



I witnessed ideas I feared and loved,

Situations that could not be explained,

I felt I was in this place before

In a world cold, trapped and chained.



Here, however, I was free

But this freedom was bound with a price

For when awareness outweighed all else

I saw everything.



Memories incorporeal, drifting

In the tapestry of all existence, converging

And into web-like forms dispersing

A voice out of the chaos pulling

And softly singing “Good morning.”

Okay, 'Bye.

Mr. Corporate Creep and my supervisor had a talk with me today.

Mr. Corporate Creep "apologized."

Why the quotes? I'm glad you asked.

Mr. Corporate Creep said that he was sorry and that sometimes his "jokes" were a little *made weird gesture that didn't really say anything other than the usual bullshit.*
He went on to say that he was sorry that the joke wasn't taken in the best way.
Cue my anger.
He said that it's his way of telling me that I'm a hard worker.
Last I checked, productivity and looks are not correlated. 
He then chuckled and said that he would have to apologize to another coworker, because he had made the same comment to her. He made it sound like a chore.

That night, he quadruple-sat my section even though there were plenty of tables in other sections. I don't know if he did this as "punishment" or if he's just really that clueless when it comes to seating (although given that he has "30 years experience in the restaurant business," I doubt it).

Needless to say, I'm looking for another job.

Respect Mah Authoritah

The sexism is strong here.

Farewell, Responsibility!

I was perusing the internet today when I happened upon an appalling story.

A youth minister named Brandon Milburn had been convicted of seven counts of first degree statutory sodomy. 

I am writing about this article not to suggest that pedophiles run rampant in Christianity. Pedophiles can find victims anywhere, not just in the church. But I feel that beliefs espoused within the church can hinder an already shaky outlook as far as rehabilitation of people who deal with these impulses is concerned:

"To the families I betrayed.... With everything I am, I'm so sorry. I would do anything to take my childish behavior back.... I know that I sinned against God and that I sinned against them. I was given a position of trust, and I abused it on them.... My actions have haunted me for years.... I truly hate what I've done. I'm sorry, God, I'm so sorry."

Between sobs, Milburn thanks the handful of supporters who spoke on his behalf. Then he delivers his final plea to Cohen.

"I'm ready to be put this all behind me and to continue reaching for my dreams of filmmaking and in music. ... Your Honor, I ask for your mercy in your decision today, for a chance to further prove who I am."

He's ready to put all of this behind him? What about the victims? He obviously doesn't anywhere near understand the ramifications of what he has done:

"From his detention facility, Milburn sent a brief statement to Riverfront Times. On yellow legal paper, he wrote that he'd been saved from his past — a gift from God. 'He loves me, so he gave it to me, and I reached out and took it,' he wrote. 'No one will ever separate me from that love, and God extends that love to anyone and everyone no matter what they've done or where they are. I've chosen to do the same.'

He ended with a P.S.: 'Check out John 8:2-11. '

The passage is the one in which Jesus defends a woman who's been caught in an act of adultery. He's asked if he would advocate stoning her. He responds, 'Let anyone of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.'

Milburn signs his letter 'Choosing love, Brandon.'"

Research has shown that pedophilia is extremely difficult to treat, even when patients are motivated to change. When they are simply assuming that this great entity has cured them (conveniently after already carrying out their impulses, probably a result of the devil's temptation, right?) recidivism is very likely to occur.

Sex! Drugs! Violence!

Yesterday, I made a post about my beliefs on the Jesus Easter story.

It was met with some criticism from my family/friends for the post on The Book of Faces. 

A family member thanked me for bringing her closer to Jesus through the post and implied that the Holy Spirit was still working within me. (I would attribute this "closeness" to the "jump-back" as a result of uncomfortable cognitive dissonance, but that's just me). 

A friend asked me how I had "renounced" the Holy Spirit if I didn't believe that it existed. I replied that by using the word "renounced" I meant that I was renouncing my belief in the Holy Spirit. I went on to explain that even if god existed, I wouldn't like him because he was cruel. The friend then asked me what god had done in my life to show me his cruelty, and I explained that my evidence was from the bible, not my life.

To which the reply was something to the effect of, "That was the Old Testament, it would be better to look at the New Testament for evidence to support your point." Since Jesus made the old law invalid.

Or did he?

The Creep is Aware

Mr. Corporate Creep has been notified of his creepiness. Huzzah!

I was told that he would apologize to me personally, and that he said he was "only joking."


He didn't. What a surprise. And someone needs to inform him that we don't make jokes like that in the workplace.

He is Raisin

Happy Zombie Jesus Day!

The Easter celebration is, in my opinion, another way to further enmesh people of faith in this idea that they are "unworthy sinners in need of redemption." Think about it. The message here is:

You are full of sin. All humans are.
Jesus came, lived, taught, and was tortured brutally because we are all sinners. He carried our sin for us. 
So you need to accept him.

The latent message here being: seriously?!? He suffered!! He went through so much just for you!! And you are thinking of rejecting him??

When you think about it, what happened was that God was just tired of animal sacrifices and just wanted a human one. A sacrifice by his own son. Who is also him? But he forsook him when he was sacrificed because of all of the sin that he was "carrying--" since god cannot look upon sin. But he can be in the presence of Satan...who is sin incarnate.

Because reasons.

Eat My Tarts!

Today, I spent time with family. It was refreshing and just...nice. I have so much going on lately it was nice to just have a day off, sip tea, and eat tarts (mmm they were delicious!) at my cousin's Alice in Wonderland-themed party while catching up with everyone.

I am worried for one member of my family though. (Not one present at the party). I am not sure what to do in this situation. I find this person is making mistakes that I did when I was younger, and making more as well. Unfortunately, I think now I will just have to say that the best teacher is the cold, unforgiving reality of the real world--especially when one will not listen to reason otherwise.

Update on Corporate Creep

The person I initially told about the work situation in a previous post still hasn't spoken with the offender, so I spoke with someone else who has told me that they will talk with the offender. I have a feeling that this person actually will. 

We shall see. This situation has peaked my curiosity, however: why has the person I told initially still not reported it? Research suggests that for victims of workplace harassment, fear of retaliation can be a factor. But what about people to whom the incident has been reported? Perhaps the person fears retaliation as well. 

Mmm, Crunchy Soul.

As my newfound atheism brings me "closer to the devil," and my vegetarianism has been a part of my lifestyle for years, I find this all too appropriate.

Mr. Corporate Cookie-Cutter Strikes Again

There are many things at work that cause me to make this face.

However, one comment in particular resulted in the previous face, plus....

Allow me to explain. For those of you who have been following my blog, you may remember me making mention of a certain new director that we have at the nursing home. Not only did he reek of corporate greed with a stench that would have caused even Mr. Krabs to cringe in horror, but he just creeped me out. Now he creeps me out even more, and to be honest makes me pretty irate. 

I was helping wash dishes in the kitchen when Mr. Corporate walked by and smiled his trademark plastic smile, saying "Thank you!" "Yep," I replied, not wanting to continue any further conversation. Another coworker said to Mr. Corporate, "She's great, isn't she?" (This coworker appreciates my work ethic, and has pointed this out on numerous occasions). "Yes..." replied Mr. Corporate, "best-looking dishwasher I've seen in all my thirty years [being in a managerial position]." 

Cue my anger, and my coworker whispering "...weird..." as he walked by me following that...debacle.

Firstly, that comment was extremely inappropriate for anyone to say in the workplace, let alone someone in a managerial position. Secondly, it's just degrading that to him, my presence there can be distilled down into my looks. Nevermind that they dump the work of two, sometimes three people on me. Nevermind that I have ideas and concerns (which usually end up being shut down now that Mr. Corporate is here...I may get into that story with another post). As long as I have a pretty face, that's all irrelevant. 

I did go to someone about his comment. That person has yet to discuss the situation with him. Frankly, I don't think he will. 

Telepathy to the Imaginary

I came across this picture today.

Aside from the poor grammar, I have a problem with this post. A couple, actually--one being the depiction of a child at the top. Yes let us all teach our children that this is the one true way! No other possibilities whatsoever. 

I have a question for the creator of this post: how exactly does prayer "work?" Does god have some sort of filing system, or is it one of those pick-a-card-from-a-hat deals? I have a feeling that if prayer worked, this world would be a lot different. What does work? Action and, well, work. If you want something (realistic) done, do it. If it's something unrealistic, I'm sorry to say that you will need to accept it. Denial only works for so long. 

It's not just people of faith who hold closed-minded attitudes like these, however. And they're more common than you might think. If one holds onto something mentally for so long and someone provides them with evidence that flies directly in the face of that belief, it is very difficult to simply let that belief go. The thing is, one has to be able to say "I am wrong," or at least concede the possibility of being wrong. It's, in my opinion, narcissistic to say otherwise. 

I'm Just Gonna Leave This Here

Gray Jedi

My fiance has recently come out as agnostic--or as he likes to describe it, a "Gray Jedi."

I guess that would make me a Sith. I'm okay with this. 

You might expect for me to be overjoyed--but I'm not. I mean, it's nice for me to not only have a wonderful man, but to know that this wonderful man truly understands the way I think. At the same time, I know that this is probably causing him a great deal of stress. He's shed an old way of thinking, something that I know from personal experience is not an easy task. It's extremely uncomfortable.

The news saddened my mother as well. I know that she believes that my fiance and I will be going to a place of eternal torture if we don't change our ways of thinking. She said to me after I told her: "Oh....and I have been praying for him too!" She then paused and a look of determination came over her: "I just need to pray harder!" Not only do I feel bad for her sadness, but I feel bad that she has taken this personal task based on (in my view) mythology as her own personal mission, something weighing on her. I mean, can you imagine? Feeling partially responsible for the eternal damnation of another?

Buzz buzz

Taking a bit of a break from the blog tonight to spend some much-needed relaxation time with the fiancé. Here is a photo I came across on Facebook--what are your thoughts about it?

Two By Two Equals Fish?

Today, a friend sent me an article about plans for a billboard. Not just any billboard, though.




A group which calls themselves "The Tri-State Freethinkers" set up a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for a billboard advertising Ken Ham's "Ark Encounter."

This advertisement has a bit of a creative twist, however.

I am on the fence about this. On one hand, it's honest. Yes, we believe that the story of Noah's Ark is a myth. How could he fit two of every animal on the ark? Why did God have to flood the earth to rid it of all the immoral people (which, however way you want to dress it, is still mass murder). The questions are virtually endless. 

But Ken Ham (and those who support him) will probably just see this as us atheists trying to infringe upon their good work and "bash" Christians. Will it cause some to question? Probably a few. But what will they do after this questioning? It will likely create uncomfortable cognitive dissonance, and then those who support the creation story will "jump back" to their original belief and distance themselves further mentally--and possibly lash out at--us atheists/humanists. Then again, perhaps it will take messages like this to show people of faith how we view stories of the Bible. 

St. Patty

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Check out this video on the history of St. Patrick--not exactly a great story for non-Christians.

Standard Deviant

Tonight, a family member messaged me with a concern. I'm glad she did.

A friend of mine had posted an article to my timeline, the topic of which we had been discussing at an earlier time. The article is entitled:

"Religious children are meaner than their secular counterparts, study finds." 

My family member, being a person of faith, was a bit hurt by the title. She brought up a very good point in that the title makes a sweeping generalization that, while possibly accurate, does not describe each and every person of faith. When research is distilled into articles for the general public, it is not usually mentioned that the research in no way describes people at the individual level.

Additionally, the word "meaner" isn't entirely accurate here. The study itself focused on empathy (or lack thereof) and judgement of others--which may not exactly be best described by the term "meanness."

I think it is important for us all to remember that even though it seems like groups as a whole tend to be portrayed or behave in a certain way, that does not mean that every person within that group does. 

We Just Want to Help...Make You More Like Us

Today, I read an article in the New York Times about treatment facilities for eating disorders.

According to the Times, many newer treatment facilities rely on a "spa-like" atmosphere and charge tens of thousands of dollars per month for treatments which are not exactly based on the latest psychological/neuro-scientific research: one such treatment being a faith-based treatment.

A visit I paid to the website of one of these "faith-based facilities" proved to be very unsettling.

The site lists the facets of life damaged by an eating disorder: the body, (true) the mind, (yes) emotions, (yes) relationships, (yes) and especially--especially the Spirit (by this I assume they are referring to the Holy Spirit. Which raises the question, if this Spirit is residing in the individual, how were they attacked by this disorder?

Ah, I forgot--Satan. 

The remaining portion of the website is even more eerie:

"Residential treatment at Timberline Knolls provides spiritual nurturing to women of all beliefs and faith traditions – including those with none at all.

Spirituality is not an add-on or an optional part of treatment at Timberline Knolls.

Each Timberline Knolls therapist and staff member understands they work with residents of all religious beliefs. Spiritual healing and empowerment are core parts of treatment for every resident, regardless of her faith and religious beliefs.

From the day she arrives, each Christian resident will feel our passion for spiritual rejuvenation in the way we describe treatment and recovery. Our treatment philosophy reflects the New Testament philosophy that Christians don’t get well by themselves, but through connection with others.

All Timberline Knolls residents attend special weekly group sessions with our Spirituality Coordinator, Todd Warren. Todd is a nationally-known songwriter, Christian recording artist and an ordained minister.

Todd’s thought provoking discussions are enhanced by performing music live for residents. Todd brings a pastor’s voice that reinforces the presence of the spirit inside each of us, and the importance of one’s connection to a power greater than ourselves."

Scenario time: let's say a young person suffering from comorbid depression and anorexia (who happens to be gay/atheist/anything "non-Christian" and suffers from these disorders in part because of lack of social support/feelings of worthlessness because of rejection by family and/or peers) arrives at this facility per parental request. Now that person will be forced to conform to an identity which is not their own in addition to these problems. 

Well, s***.

Tonight at work, I stood up for myself.

A supervisor of mine had 1. Neglected to schedule enough people on one of our busiest nights, so we were horribly understaffed 2. Yelled at a coworker who was just trying to give her information and 3. Been on everyone about minuscule, unimportant things while not giving us any help (even though we were understaffed).

They were in the dining room, complaining about "crumbs" (tiny little white fluffs) that I had left. Since it had been my job to vacuum, they told me to pick them up. I had it. I told them that if they really wanted them picked up so badly, they could do it themselves. I heard an "excuse me?" from them and I stormed off in a huff to go fold more napkins.

Then they came to me and started crying, saying that they had to go to the other end of the building and asking if I had decided "not to do my job." I felt bad. Not for getting my thoughts out, but for causing them to cry. I could have handled the situation better.

I apologized to them later and they started crying again. They told me that they accepted my apology and that their supervisors had been on them about a number of things (though they had missed big things, namely items on the schedule). I tried to tell them, much more calmly, that we could have used more help from them as far as cleaning duties were concerned, especially since we were understaffed. They told me that helping too much could get them in trouble (I don't really buy that. Their supervisors go home before we start cleaning). I asked her how they would know, and they replied with, "don't ask me how they know! They just do!" I feel that either a. they are making things up because they do not want to help or b. they may be suffering from paranoia.

I think they definitely exhibit some symptoms of paranoid personality disorder, but I have not spoken to them enough times to make that assertion (plus I am not a psychologist, at least not in the sense of having a degree). They do contradict themselves quite a bit, but I do not think they purposefully lie. I think they simply become confused sometimes, either because their anxiety levels are so high that they forget (activation of the HPA axis during a stress response can damage memory over time) or because they have some level of delusion. Perhaps I should teach them some calming techniques and see if their behavior improves.

Boo!

Just a little something to go along with last night's post.



via GIPHY

Trumpdy Dumpty

You most likely have heard about Trump's cancelled Chicago rally.

The New York Times reports that Trump was quoted as saying he "didn't want anyone getting hurt" at the rally, and this was his reason for cancelling. However, CNN reported not that long ago that Donald Trump said that he would like to "punch a protester in the face." In addition, Trump has been quoted as saying that his solution to the ISIS problem is to "bomb the sh*t out of them."

So why is he suddenly turning peaceful?
To make the protesters look violent, of course. The New York Times even spoke of "violence" at the potential rally, but in the article itself only mentions a couple "skirmishes" and incidents of police wielding batons and causing injuries with said batons.

I won't even get into the inaccuracy of Donald Trump claiming that First Amendment rights were being violated. If you cannot see past that, then I probably won't get through to you anyway.

Instead, let me take you all through some more reasons why Trump is a person of poor integrity and character.

Here are 9 examples of Trump being racist.

Justifying military sexual assault. 

Possible sexual assault on his part.

The list goes on and on. Please do not vote for this person. 

Don't Type So Close to Me

Why do people feel as if being online allows them to act differently towards people than if they were to be having a discussion in person? Probably, for one, because they cannot see the facial expressions of the person with whom they are speaking. Research suggests that viewing and the subsequent unconscious mimicry of facial expressions/nonverbal gestures can help people see and even agree with the viewpoints of others.

In the end, however, it is still a person's choice to be rude or even creepy, the latter I encountered in a random stranger on the internet. A friend of mine had a friend who had decided for some reason to "poke" me and several others on Facebook. My friend told me that all he ever did was try to get in her pants. This irritated me, so I decided to do something about it. (This was awhile ago, but I was reminded by it due to some articles I had read by ladies who had been harassed on various social networks).

Notice the immediate neediness. "You busy?"

He obviously didn't understand what I was saying.

I Didn't Know You Could Resurrect a Movie Too

God's Not Dead 2 is in the works. I saw the trailer for it today.








If you would like to view it, I have embedded the link above--but I will spare you if you would rather not. It feels a great deal like an action/suspense movie in which the underdogs, the Christians, are having their freedoms slowly taken away by the villains, the atheists and secular humanists. The protagonist, a teacher, mentions a Bible verse in class and suddenly her job is in question and her life is in turmoil because of these horrid people.

I like to keep discussions in class open-minded, so I have mentioned Bible verses in my classroom on numerous occasions. And I am a secular humanist. Nobody came after my job or threatened me in any way. I have had teachers in high school who mentioned Biblical concepts and even asserted that these concepts were true--and I went to public school!

I think the makers of this movie are confusing secular groups' wishes for separation of church and state in law and science especially as a "war on Christianity." This is not the case. I want everyone to believe what they wish, as long as they do not force their beliefs on others or cause others harm because of them. We are not trying to "wage war." We are trying to make sure that certain groups do not have too much power and influence in the lives of others.

Have You Been Touched By Buddy Jesus?

A few days ago, a coworker of mine recommended that I see "Dogma."

One of my first thoughts was, "Oh! So that's where that goofy Jesus statue comes from!" (Bear with me, folks. I am just now discovering these movies. Ironically, my youth group appropriated pictures of this statue for lessons on numerous occasions).

I love this movie for a number of reasons. Firstly, I mean, Alan Rickman as Metatron and Alanis Morissette as God--that right there was amazing. But I also respect the movie for the questions it asks (no, I'm not talking about Jay asking if he can bang the Zion every five minutes).

I believe in the possibility of a god or yet undiscovered being of higher intelligence. I am simply not comfortable asserting that any god or such being exists because I have no tangible evidence. And if one does exist, I do not think the Bible or Quran or any other religious book out there effectively explains or identifies it. All religious texts must have some bias. When it comes down to it, they were written by completely fallible humans. For example, the Bible (this example being from the KJV) is horribly, horribly misogynistic. According to a passage in Deuteronomy, if a man calls his new wife a "slut" but her virginity is verified, the man must be admonished. But if he calls his new wife a "slut" and her virginity cannot be proved, she shall be stoned to death. The Quran permits rape as long as the victim is a slave taken as a prisoner of war.

Hm. Sounds to me like they could have been written by men with power complexes. I don't believe, but I have an idea.

Biofeedback is a Beautiful Thing

A couple days ago, I happened upon a "suggested" post about the videogame "Nevermind."

Being that I am a fan of horror video games and psychology, my interest was instantly peaked. (Damn you Facebook and your pointed advertising). According to the game's webpage, "Nevermind" uses a biofeedback algorithm as one is playing the game to monitor how stressed the player is becoming. When the player becomes more stressed out, the game becomes more difficult.

You might be wondering, "well how is that at all helpful? Wouldn't it be better to help the player stay un-stressed, especially if they have anxiety?" This makes sense intuitively, but for people diagnosed with anxiety (me being one of the many) avoiding anxiety-provoking situations actually hinders our progress. The worst thing about anxiety is not the actual situation we fear, it's the anticipation beforehand.

For people with obsessive-compulsive disorder, the most effective treatment is exposure plus response prevention, which is essentially forcing the person with the disorder to either do the very things that they are afraid of (like touch something which they perceive as "germ-ridden") or not do the ritual behaviors to which they have become accustomed (like repeated hand-washing). The goal is to show the individual that nothing catastrophic happens after they change the behavior and also to get the individual's nervous system to "acclimate" to the anxiety. This makes it easier for one to control their own level of anxiety in stressful situations.

This videogame relies on a similar strategy. Imagine (even if you are not a person with a diagnosed anxiety disorder) that you are playing the game and  a stressful situation arises. Your nervous system is flooded with cortisol and adrenaline, and the game recognizes through your increasingly frantic movements that your stress levels are rising. The game suddenly becomes more difficult--to advance you will need to stop, maybe for just a second or two, and breathe. Get those levels back down. The game becomes easier and you can continue. And the beauty of it is, you can do this all in a secure environment.

These Thoughts Run Through My Brain Too Fast

Today's not the first day I have been threatened with violence.

Class today was pretty normal up until the end of the second hour. One of my students who has trouble focusing was flat-out refusing to do his assignment for a myriad of reasons, and I wasn't sure if any of them were true. He claimed to be afraid to write down his thoughts for fear of judgement (something I have seen before in other students). He claimed that he did better with typing than with writing, but I told him that I had taken away the laptop because it had been distracting him. He then claimed that I never gave him a chance to open a word document (a flat-out lie) and I told him that while he had had the laptop out I never said that he couldn't type out his responses.

Still, the student became more and more frustrated. Since he was still refusing to do his work, I reluctantly wrote a referral and poked my head out of the door to get the attention of the hall monitor. At this point, the student warned me that he had thrown desks at people before and that he was getting very angry and often became violent while angry. I took a deep breath and just let him continue talking until the assistant principal arrived.

I know that this particular student has a lot of problems with focus and dealing with emotions. But there is a point in which one has to say, "your problems do not excuse this behavior." However, perhaps planning a lesson that helps the student feel a bit more comfortable doing his work and that he is not, by any stretch of the imagination, stupid (as he has referred to himself before), I can prevent future situations from coming to a head like they did today. People get extremely defensive and may attack when they feel anxious and threatened by the surrounding situation.

 I found an interesting class activity to help others understand what it's like to have ADHD, as well as the fact that they need to make sure that they are not doing anything which could add to the overload of sensory input that the student is experiencing.

I Can Move The Wind

You told me that she was crazy. You told me that she coerced you into having sex, and that it was akin to rape. I felt awful for you.

You told me that the child that you conceived was not your responsibility because you had offered help and it was refused. You told me, again, that she was crazy. I believed you. She was awful. People are warning me about you. But no, she was crazy. I will not listen to them. They cannot stand between us.

You told me that I was the only one for you, and that you loved me with all that you had. You told me I was the Ramona to your Scott, and you wanted to fix my broken past.

You told me that I was cute, and that I "won" every game we had for this reason. You paid so much attention to me. You were broken, and I pitied and loved you. I'm not sure which it truly was.

You told me that my breasts could stand to be a little larger. You told me that all I was good for was sex. I was angry and hurt. You told me to get over it. When I went to walk away, you cried. I pitied and loved once again.

You told me that you couldn't help it. You just wanted me so badly. Nevermind the fact that I didn't. I knew that men would be men. So I let it go. Problem was, only part of me did.

I told you that I wanted to die. I told you that there were noises in my head, and I could control the wind. You believed me. Now we are believing each other's lies.

I don't know why I keep vomiting. I am disgusted with myself. With her. Now I know why you said she was crazy. Now I can't work. She's crazy, she's crazy. She is me.

Now I am better. Now I know what you were. Now I don't want this to happen to anyone else. God, I don't want this to happen to anyone else.

I wrote this late last night for a multitude of reasons, the biggest being that it was cathartic for me. The second reason is to show people what victims of sexual assault go through. This is why we "wait too long to seek justice." 

Squishy Post Hoc Stuff

At work today, a question was posed to me by a coworker. "What do you think about prenups?"

After pausing a minute to think I replied, "I think they are very pessimistic. But it's a good kind of pessimism."

We went on to discuss various relationship possibilities: maybe one partner was lying the whole time. Maybe after marriage, a partner decides to stop trying to better themselves. Maybe one partner receives an unfortunate brain injury and their personality is radically altered--the possibilities are endless. In the end if divorce is sought, things are a bit better for both parties, at least financially.

As it turns out, strategies like these aren't just limited to topics like marriage, and they are used by people every day. Also known as defensive pessimism, these tactics are used by people (generally those with some degree of anxiety) and some research suggests that they can actually help improve overall performance. But how?

If one thinks about certain outcomes of failure, that thought of potential failure can motivate that person to try a little harder than they would otherwise. Additionally, identifying issues or "bugs" early on in a task can motivate one to eliminate those "bugs" and arrive at a more favorable outcome.

Even if the outcome of a task ends in failure, when one had lowered expectations to begin with this failure may not deliver as "crushing" a blow had one been expecting a more positive outcome. The lowered expectations effectively act as a mental "cushion" of sorts.

Of course, these strategies are like double-edged swords. If one worries too much about failure, they may simply give up on the end goal or become so fraught with worry that they allocate too many attentional resources to potential problems and lose sight of what truly needs to be done. Ah, Yerkes-Dodson Law, you've done it again!

Placebo

As promised, here is an explanation of my post from yesterday, which you may or may not have read.

I was online during my break yesterday, and had noticed someone commented on a post without having actually read said post--it was pretty obvious. I complained about this to a coworker, and he mentioned that people have done experiments/pulled "pranks" to see if people will actually read posted articles or just react to the title. He went on to say that people are by nature reactionary, and that I should do a similar "experiment" on my blog. And so I did.

The results were interesting. I posted my article on several different pages/groups/threads to see what different results I might get. On a thread belonging to Joshua Feuerstein's page, a web user called me stupid for thinking that abortion should be legal. (Mind you I threw them a bone on the post, blatantly suggesting in the comment that they should make sure to read the actual article for an explanation). I posted to a Psychology group on Google+ and received no comments, just "likes"--by that I can assume that either a. Everyone read the article or b. Some did and some didn't, but the ones who didn't simply "liked" the post because they agreed. Moving on--I also posted to an Atheist group on Google+, some people commented that they agreed with the post, some said that they liked what I did with the post, and some made it clear that they had read the post but offered an opinion anyway (nothing wrong with that!)

Research on web use posits that even if content of an article is sought in the first place, only about 20-30% is actually read--in addition, web users will oftentimes pick out key words and "scan" rather than read each word in a sentence.

I think the biggest takeaway from this experiment is that we all (myself included) need to make sure we're truly thinking about all the details of what we're reading. In addition, I believe I have another experiment in mind (though I won't be implementing it for a long time).

Eh what the heck. If you got to this point in the article, comment "tufted titmouse" or something equally random/ridiculous.

Abortion Should be Legal in All Instances and All Stages of Pregnancy

Today, work was just horrible. We were understaffed, I had to miss the Bernie Sanders rally at SIUE, and on top of all that, I had to train someone at work while we were understaffed and we were getting slammed. 

But you know what? Deadpool makes everything all better. I'm going to play some of the "Deadpool" video game that my coworker lent me, I have some margaritas, and my fiance cleaned and vacuumed the apartment and is making me dinner! Additionally, I have been making some great friends through my blog--it's so flattering that they took the time to message me about how they like my writing and now I talk to them every day!

You may have noticed that this blog has absolutely nothing to do with the title--that's because this is a social experiment. The title nowhere near describes my opinion on the topic. Congratulations, and I will explain tomorrow night! Shout-out to my coworker who gave me this idea--thanks dude!

The Great Pumpkin

I was perusing The Book of Faces today when I happened upon this post:

Aside from the fact that someone decided to hijack "Peanuts" to make a religious post, I take issue with the message within it. Now I agree that worrying about any-and-everything is no way to live life and that some issues/situations/people just need to be let go. But no all-powerful entity is just going to snap their fingers and do things for you. 

I do know that oftentimes religious beliefs can serve as a buffer to anxiety. Research suggests that attending church and believing in some sort of afterlife are two variables which are negatively correlated with anxiety (meaning that as the frequency of the two variables increases, anxiety decreases). However, strong beliefs in "the pervasiveness of sin" are positively associated with anxiety, meaning that as these beliefs become more frequent, anxiety increases.

Anxiety is not always a bad thing to have, though. The only known law in psychology, known as the Yerkes-Dodson Law, states that there is a "perfect" level of anxiety (or physiological arousal) for an individual to perform at their best on a task. Too little and performance is lowered; too much and performance is lowered again. So attending church and holding beliefs about an afterlife are probably not bad things to do in terms of anxiety (though I would argue that afterlife beliefs help decrease anxiety about the unknown, rather than simply being at peace with the fact that one cannot know the answer to what happens after death), but "giving all of one's problems to God" will probably not help with whatever situation one may be dealing with--there needs to be some anxiety/physiological arousal for one to perform their best in a situation.

Also, Charles Schulz was a secular humanist. 

You're a Sociopayath

A friend of mine at work today proposed an experiment to be carried out at a later date.

This friend was worried that they might be a sociopath. Thankfully, most true sociopaths, when faced with the question of whether or not they are a sociopath, will adamantly deny the possibility--so the fact that my friend was worried about this probably means that they are not a sociopath. In addition, I do not believe that they meet the DSM-5 criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder, which are the diagnostic criteria most closely describing a "sociopath."

However, I am still looking forward to this experiment. In a couple of months, I will present a sad story to this friend and see if they react in an empathetic or cold, uncaring manner.

Aside from this experiment and the criteria, I am of the opinion that everyone has antisocial traits. Even if one does not meet all the criteria, there still may be instances in which one lacks empathy for another based on the context of the situation, as research on the mediating effects of antisocial traits between drinking and partner violence suggests. Essentially, we all have the potential at any moment, based on a whole lot of variables, to be sociopaths.

I Do Not Like Green Kens and Ham.

This morning, a friend of mine sent me an article about something Ken Ham said.

"Intellectual child abuse: when kids are taught they’re just animals in an evolutionary process. This morning I taught kids the creation/gospel message!

The young people today in Alabama learned they’re not made in the image of an ape — they’re created in the image of God."

As someone who was initially raised as a Christian, I know that these attitudes are all too familiar. When I was younger, I was sent to a private Christian school for first and second grade. I do not remember much of what I had learned there (I think I may have blocked some of it out) but the spotty memories I do have involved coloring in pictures representing Bible verses. I wan't allowed to watch The Wild Thornberrys because one of the character's names was "Darwin."

My point here is that people like Kevin Ham are people who live in complete fear of information that conflicts with their preexisting worldview. Even worse, they will pass this fear on, along with delusions of grandeur that humanity was modeled after some supreme being. In my opinion, it is more humble to acknowledge the possibility that we arose from lesser beings. Let us just hope that the children that Ken Ham "teaches" will find their own truth.