I Can Move The Wind

You told me that she was crazy. You told me that she coerced you into having sex, and that it was akin to rape. I felt awful for you.

You told me that the child that you conceived was not your responsibility because you had offered help and it was refused. You told me, again, that she was crazy. I believed you. She was awful. People are warning me about you. But no, she was crazy. I will not listen to them. They cannot stand between us.

You told me that I was the only one for you, and that you loved me with all that you had. You told me I was the Ramona to your Scott, and you wanted to fix my broken past.

You told me that I was cute, and that I "won" every game we had for this reason. You paid so much attention to me. You were broken, and I pitied and loved you. I'm not sure which it truly was.

You told me that my breasts could stand to be a little larger. You told me that all I was good for was sex. I was angry and hurt. You told me to get over it. When I went to walk away, you cried. I pitied and loved once again.

You told me that you couldn't help it. You just wanted me so badly. Nevermind the fact that I didn't. I knew that men would be men. So I let it go. Problem was, only part of me did.

I told you that I wanted to die. I told you that there were noises in my head, and I could control the wind. You believed me. Now we are believing each other's lies.

I don't know why I keep vomiting. I am disgusted with myself. With her. Now I know why you said she was crazy. Now I can't work. She's crazy, she's crazy. She is me.

Now I am better. Now I know what you were. Now I don't want this to happen to anyone else. God, I don't want this to happen to anyone else.

I wrote this late last night for a multitude of reasons, the biggest being that it was cathartic for me. The second reason is to show people what victims of sexual assault go through. This is why we "wait too long to seek justice."